Fun and Playfulness
“Describe your sense of humor.”
”What role does humor play in this role?”
These were two of the questions Derek Melleby asked me as I interviewed for a job with OneLife Institute to mentor college-aged gap-year students. I had never been asked anything like this. I definitely use humor to connect with people, but what Derek was asking for was the “why.” As I have continued in my professional life, I now interview potential staff for jobs that are similar to the one I was interviewing for. As I am now in the interviewer chair, I have gained a much greater appreciation for those questions that were asked of me.
My life is built on the love of Jesus, excellence, and fun and playfulness. These things shape my philosophy of leadership in my work as a facilitator, as an educator, and generally as a person. For me, fun and playfulness and humor all stem from the same place and help achieve the same purpose: to connect with people. Connection is where things happen. As someone who mentors and teaches younger people, I have found that taking a playful approach is key to building trust with people. That trust leads to being able to speak into lives which then leads to growth. Ministry happens when bridges are built into lives and this tends to happen best when we are playful.
“Fun and playfulness” is a Loft core value. The Loft was the program that I was a part of in college and God used it to shape me into who I am today. The Loft team was always a space filled with a lot of fun and playfulness, but it was also the deepest and fullest community that I have been a part of. The intimacy came because we knew how to laugh together first. In my work as the current Guide Director at Camp Hebron, I am striving to create a similar culture. I work hard to play with my team. We laugh together and we cry together. Just this past Friday we were in a backpacking class on a trail covered in snow. As someone had wrapped up a lesson, I felt our energy starting to dwindle, so I picked up some snow, formed it into a ball, and started a snowball fight. This led to another game which gave us a welcomed morale boost and a break from our information-heavy lessons. In addition to spontaneous play, I have started collecting tabletop games. I get games for two reasons. First, I like to play them. Second, they are a non-threatening way to build relationships with people. They are an essential part of my ministry. I am always looking for new games to add to my collection, so if you have any suggestions, please leave me a comment and I will check out your favorite games.
While I have always been a little on the playful side of life, I have gained a deeper application for it and have learned to implement it into my work. My fun and playful role model is my college academic advisor, Dave Tanis. He is likely the most playful adult I know. His ability to make anything fun is unparalleled. For example, after one exceptionally long day on the Rio Grande we were looking for a camp site. If you have ever been hunting for a place to set up a tent after a full day in the back country, you understand how tired everyone was. In our searching, we found a pile of goat carcasses that had been sun dried. I have never seen anything like them. They were still intact but were completely flat. Dave walked over to one, picked it up, studied it, then acted like he was riding it. The mood of the group was instantly lighter. Another day this past summer, I was helping lead a trip with him in West Virginia for a freshman orientation group. We were once again canoeing. The water was a little high, so we were moving faster than we wanted. We had extra time to kill, so Dave started challenging people to rock throwing contests. He had people trying to land rocks on other rocks out in the river. He had us trying to skip them and was encouraging people to test their aim in many other creative ways. Then we moved downstream where we pulled our boats up onto the rocks and took turns swimming rapids and using throw ropes to haul each other in. Dave started challenging people to swim across the river and had everyone enjoying what could have been a fast and simple trip. Every task is a game when you are doing it with Dave.
In the circles that I live in, I frequently encounter people who live for deep, meaningful conversations. They want to ask me questions and hope that I will open up to them. Sometimes I don’t have a problem doing this, but other times I do. As I reflect on the times when vulnerability is hard there is a key trend. Those people don’t know how to have fun first. They want to skip the play and go straight to the depth. I have trouble trusting people who take themselves that seriously. It’s like they are hiding from something. I suspect that often what they are avoiding is being fully known. When we allow ourselves to play, we let down our guard which puts us in a vulnerable position. This distinct type of vulnerability, when paired with a willingness to go deep, seems to lead to some of the richest relationships. On the flip side, I know people who use humor to hide from truly being known. We need a balance of both extremes to truly go deep.
I am a firm believer that we all need rich relationships and, in my experience, they need to include some fun, a little playfulness, and a lot of humor. If you are finding it hard to connect in meaningful ways then maybe it is time to let your guard down and go play. I want to challenge you to seek out opportunities to engage in a little more fun and playfulness as you build new relationships and strengthen old ones. You never know how God might use a simple joke to build a bridge that will lead to eternal impact. .
