Seneca

As I drove through the fog and rain, I couldn’t help but wonder if we were going to be able to achieve our goal of climbing up Seneca Rocks. I was celebrating my friend Brandon’s bachelor’s weekend. Matt, Kris, and I had been asked to take the groomsmen rock climbing. With our skill, we knew that we could keep everyone reasonably safe; I just wasn’t sure that we would have a good time. The rock would be slick, and the wind would be cold. I wasn’t sure that it would be worth it. 

I could feel the sweat on my palms as I methodically clipped my climbing gear onto my harness. I hadn’t been up Seneca in about four years, and I had never been the one leading a climbing group. My last trip had been one of working through the fear of climbing that I had developed back in 2019 when I had taken a significant and unexpected fall while rappelling due to a mistake that I had made. I had spent the past five years slowly rebuilding my confidence in climbing systems and honing my skills to keep from ever having a repeat experience. I hoped that I was ready. I started the climb and got to the first ledge before stopping to find a place for some protection. We were trad climbing. Trad is a type of lead climbing (climbing above your anchor) where you insert metal gear into cracks in the rock and clip them to your rope so that if you fall it will catch you. It had been a while since I had last climbed like this, which added to the stress, but as I stepped up onto the rock it all melted away. It actually felt good! I found good places for gear and had confidence. I had the most fun that I have had climbing since before my accident. It has taken time, but I finally feel like I am back. 

When I felt like I could have walked away from climbing, I could have decided that it wasn’t worth trying new things and challenging myself. But I didn’t. I faced my fear and slowly rebuilt my confidence. On this side of my climbing career, I have found a much healthier balance. I have confidence but I am also more careful. I know how easy it is to make silly mistakes which has made me more thorough. I am better rounded now and ready to take on new challenges. 

Much like with rock climbing, we each face moments where we feel like we are falling out of control. It’s up to us how we handle these moments. We can avoid the situations that lead to helplessness, or we can seek them out. I would guess that when we do this it makes us stronger, tougher and wiser. We learn lessons through falling and getting back up. My challenge for you is to not give up when things get hard. Instead, look for how your challenge can be the key to your next success.