Engaged
As I looked across the great room of the Loft following a college Bible study, I saw her, tears running down her cheeks from her overwhelming class, Animal Form and Function, surrounded by a large group of students who were trying to comfort her, and I thought to myself, “Maybe she is the one.” I hardly knew her name but I knew that she and I would be applying for spots on the 2017-2018 LOFT team. I promptly went back to goofing off with the other guys who frequented the Bible study and forgot about the girl.
Jumping ahead to the first day of LOFT team training, Sarah, the girl who I had seen earlier, and I found ourselves partnered over and over. On day one, we led each other through Messiah’s campus blindfolded as a trust-building activity, and then we ended up in a canoe, paddling against the flow of the Yellow Breeches Creek. The more time I got to spend with her, the more I realized that I liked her. I secretly looked for opportunities to spend time with her. We formed a tight knit group with a few other friends and became inseparable. Sarah declared time and time again, “I am never getting married,” and every time I was disappointed, but I thought, “We will see about that.” Towards the end of the fall semester, we started getting really close. She was all I could think about. If I went somewhere and expected to see her but she didn’t show up, I felt very disappointed. The closer we got, the more time I wanted to spend with her. Then one day she declared that someday she figured that she would accidentally marry her best friend. I thought, “I think that’s me!!” I had hope.
Right as we were getting really close, the semester ended and I had to leave on a three-week-long J-term trip to the Texas wilderness. The whole time I was gone I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I really wanted to be with her. It made it hard to be present. I counted the days until I could see her again, and then I finally made it back. We reunited and things went back to how they had been. We spent a lot of time together. Soon people started asking what was going on with us. We would just smile and say we were just really good friends. Everyone was asking, except for those who were closest to us. Those people just watched and patiently waited for us to figure things out. I am so grateful for how they handled us.
The semester continued and our relationship grew and I prayed about wanting a relationship with Sarah. I started journaling about her and while I really liked her, I also was super thankful for her friendship and didn’t want to mess it up. We eventually talked and she shared that she liked me. I finally told her that I liked her, too. We took a week to process and pray, and then I asked her to officially be my girlfriend.
Those first few years had their ups and downs. It took a while for us to learn how to date. Figuring out how to prioritize and love each other well while also maintaining other friendships and our academics was really hard. While we never talked about breaking up, there were definitely times we each thought about it. Not because we didn’t like each other, but just because things were hard. We got through each of those seasons and continued to grow closer. Our senior year, Sarah decided to study abroad in Chile. Our friend Rachel talked me into going to Chile with her to surprise Sarah with a short visit. This trip was a great way to reconnect after having a long-distance relationship for so long. We were reunited for the spring semester, but only until the COVID-19 pandemic sent us both home, unsure when we would see each other again. Skipping ahead a year, we were finally reunited when we both moved back to PA for new jobs. We were still living an hour apart, and for many people that would be long-distance enough, but for us it was like we were partly neighbors. We got to see each other almost every week!
As our lives continued to unfold, Sarah made the difficult decision to quit her job and join me for the summer at Camp Hebron where she would serve as the Women’s Director mentoring our female staff. After summer, she moved in with our program director, Megan, and started her current job at camp answering the phone and developing a brand-new nature program. After a year apart, we needed time to get to know each other again. As we serve at Camp together, we have grown both as a couple and as followers of Christ. We are now in the best place we have ever been.
This past Saturday as Sarah returned from a run, I asked her to go on a spontaneous adventure with me. We took a hike at the Ned Smith Center for Nature and Art. Neither of us had hiked there before. We found a spot that looked out over a beautiful creek and then I said, “I have something for you.” I knelt down and held out a ring and asked Sarah to marry me. SHE SAID YES!
I don’t believe that there is one specific person for each of us. I don’t think that Sarah and I were predestined to be together, because theologically that’s just not where I am. But as I remember our story, I can clearly see God’s fingerprints on it. He has used our relationship to grow us closer to him and has used us as a way to care for other couples. Six years has been a long time to date, but if these years have been any indication of our future, it is going to be good. We make each other better and push each other closer to God. The journey has been amazing, but we are ready for this new chapter together. I don’t know where we will end up, but it will be good because it will be with the One who created us and we will have each other, too.
