Fit
A question that has been on my mind the most lately is, “Where do I fit in the world?” I’m in this place of living between college and adult life, and I know the decisions I make now will affect the rest of my life and I feel the weight of that. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to go on an epic road trip down south. I traveled more than 2,000 miles, never sleeping in the same place twice. On this road trip, we explored the idea of “fit.” Early in the trip, we hiked in Grayson Highlands Nature Sanctuary. This area is a part of the Appalachian Trail and is known for its ponies. They are free to graze in the sanctuary and are mostly wild, but they are well maintained to ensure their health and the health of the environment in which they live. These ponies thrive; one could even say that they are a good fit. Later, we backpacked on Cumberland Island which was once largely owned by the Carnegie family as well as other wealthy families. When they left the island, they released their horses to roam freely. It’s an amazing experience to backpack along the beach with the Atlantic Ocean to your right and an island forest to your left. It’s even better when you see feral horses running toward you. That experience seems like something out of a movie, and to be honest, it’s quite magical until the horses get close enough for you to actually see them. They are not native to the island and are not managed. There is not enough food for the size of the population of horses, so they are starving. One of the first things that I noticed about them was their ribs showing through from under their fur. I could practically count each rib. They struggled to have the energy that it took to run and were only able to for a few moments before they had to slow to a walk. They spend their time sauntering across the land in search of something to eat.
The ponies fit well into the mountainous terrain in which they live. They were bred to thrive there, and they are monitored to ensure that the land can sustain their life. They also help to keep vegetation down so that the nature sanctuary can be enjoyed by visitors. The horses, on the other hand, don’t fit on the island. They are not naturally island dwellers and they are not cared for to ensure that they will thrive. These two creatures that are closely related illustrate perfectly how important it is to find a good fit. As I sit in a place in life when I am trying to figure out what is next for me, I keep thinking about this trip. I want to be a pony, not a horse. I want to be in an environment that fits me well. I want to be able to contribute, but I also want to receive proper nourishment. I want to work in an environment that will use my gifts and abilities well and in which I can thrive.
I am learning that sometimes it’s hard to know where I will fit until I try something. Part of my process leading up to trying is understanding the thing that I am trying. What is the culture like? Who else works there? What would my role be? These questions are all important to my discernment process. When I have opportunities come up, I take time to listen to other people’s experiences in the environment and use it to help decide if it is a good fit for me. The other discernment test that I run is I take an honest look at my own strengths and weaknesses. I seek places and people that will fill in my gaps as I fill in theirs. Like a puzzle piece, I desire to be a perfect fit.
