The Pen
Only a few miles left until the van. We could hardly wait. Pushing our pace, with every step we were closer to warmth and food that would not be cooked outside. We had just gone through three and a half of my hardest days of backpacking so far. We had snow, then it melted, and got “warmish”, followed by more snow and very low temperatures. My pack was one of the heaviest that I have ever carried. We were miserable. The night before had been the hardest for the group. We rotated through shifts doing camp chores and sit-ups in our sleeping bags to keep warm. I had attempted to be a hero and let myself get overly cold, so I had to stay in my sleeping bag for a long time trying to get warm. It had been a rough night.
The van meant freedom from the weight of my pack and the cold but there was still more trail ahead of us. With just a few miles left, I heard some fateful words. “I think I dropped my pen. It’s okay; I have another one.” Unfortunately, we were in the backcountry. We couldn’t just leave the pen. If we did, we would be leaving a greater impact on the land; in addition, everything that we bring on a trip is packed for a reason. We don’t pack what we don’t need because everything that we have adds more weight on our backs. Three of us turned around and started the trek back towards the place the pen was last used. As we hiked, I prayed that we could find it. I kicked leaves and checked every stick that looked almost like a pen. Eventually, we found it and hiked back to the place where we left the rest of the group. While we were gone everyone else started to get cold. That’s what happens when you sit still in the cold. Having to stop to go back and find the pen impacted every person in our group, including those who went to look for it because they used valuable energy (valuable because of how hard our bodies were working to keep us warm). Those who stayed behind got cold, which is never a good thing in the wilderness as we experienced the night before.
After we completed the snowy part of our journey, we drove down to Georgia where we were hiking on the Bartram Trail. For the first five days we were all together. For the final three, the group was on “final”, meaning they were hiking without me. This was a final exam, testing the skills that they had developed over the first half of the trip. Upon our reunion I was given the opportunity to hear stories from final. I heard about the truck that they had helped push out of the mud and about how they had gotten to camp before lunch, and I heard another story about a pen. One of the days they were hiking someone else dropped another pen. The group knew what they had to do. They split up, and some went back to look for it. Again, they found it, but not without burning more precious energy. When I heard the final pen story I was impressed. A group that just a week earlier wanted to ditch a pen chose to go back for one even when they were not being supervised.
The instinct to ditch a pen is very cultural. We have a disposable society. Everything seems to be designed for the trash. When I go on trips, I always check to make sure I have my wallet. It gives me peace of mind to know that if I forgot something I can just go to the store to get a replacement. This is how we function. From fast food wrappers to Amazon boxes, what we have is not meant to last. One of the many things that I love about wilderness living is that it teaches me to value what I have. From water to a pen, everything has its purpose. The stories of the two pens shows a shift in thinking. It serves as a reminder to steward the things that we are given. God gives us gifts. Pens, food, clothes, as well as skills and abilities. Each of us is blessed with gifts and each gift is worth using and preserving. Stewardship is not something that I hear much about in the church, but I can’t help but think that when we are not using our gifts it is a lot like dropping a pen and not going back for it. Not using our gifts is a waste of what God has given us. What gifts and skills have you been given that you are wasting? What have you dropped along the trail that God is asking you to go back and get? Doing the hard work to go back and retrieve what has been dropped, while tedious, is worth it because it is a gift from God and is too valuable to leave laying in the snow.
